Yet here was Angela about to end it all, with no apparent cause.I hypothesized to myself that their resolution of the event five years ago left something to be desired, that there still were major factors left unresolved between them.As a result, Stuart developed an entirely new respect for her.When Angela chose to forgive her husband, Stuart knew it was for real this time, and he could therefore begin to grieve his losses.Stuart had indulged in a short entangled affair with his secretary five years earlier.Both Stuart and his wife vigorously assured me that they had gotten over it long ago.But when Angela finally expressed her rage and began to struggle toward forgiveness on the basis of her true feelings, instead of denial, she was able to approach forgiveness.In effect, she was moving toward forgiveness right through her anger, not by going around it.
I’d wager a guess that there have either been full-blown affairs in your family tree or at least “close calls.” It is imperative that you go back to your parents and grandparents to find out your history.
Remember, forgiveness is a process; all the characteristics of genuine forgiveness will not always be present, but they should become increasingly apparent along the journey.
An entangled affair is always the result of an intimacy deficit in the marital relationship.
Their communication and sex lives were practically nil, and Stuart was worried. After much discussion about various factors in their relationship, I began to find the clues I was looking for.
She didn’t know why, and her husband, Stuart, was equally puzzled. I insisted that Stuart stay around for the first few sessions—I wanted to get an idea of their history together.